And we’re back. The Denver season of Love Is Blind is finally in Denver, where five engaged couples have moved in together and are meeting each other’s family, friends, and pod exes. But by the end of this batch of episodes, most of these connections are starting to feel shakier than the mechanical bull at the rodeo-themed mini reunion. Perhaps that’s an apt metaphor for ill-matched Love Is Blind relationships. You know that you’re going to fall off and that this ride won’t last forever, but you still get on and hold on for as long as possible. Plus, a camera can be a good motivator — no one wants to fall flat on their face in front of an audience.
But first, we’ve got to wrap up our baecations in Baja. We pick back up with Madison and Joe’s fight. He doesn’t want to get out of bed to comfort her while she’s crying. She eventually fully leaves the room … but cries outside the door in case he wants to come check on her. (He doesn’t.) The next day, they both apologize and validate each other’s feelings. Madison is happy to report that their sexual connection is still strong. None of this gives me confidence that they’ve addressed the underlying issues to prevent the same fight from happening again.
That’s how conflict “resolution” feels for this entire cast. For example, Jordan is quick to assure Sparkle Megan that he’ll do better and understand when she wants him to stop joking around. But he later tells the guys that she brought it up in an “abrasive” way and that, since he annoys her, it might be good that their work schedules will probably keep them apart. There’s clearly more left to unpack. Meanwhile, Edmond and Kalybriah say they’re glad they had their argument over sex, but at the end of the day, she still wants to wait until marriage, and he’s keen to remind her how much he’s “craving” it. Nick and Annie just go to bed after their first major onscreen disagreement, which peaks when Annie suggests that Nick doesn’t love her as much as she loves him.
Our couples assure themselves that arguments mean that their relationships are getting stronger. At the same time, people are feeling so worried about heading back to Denver (and down the aisle) that there’s time for a full two minutes of Doechii’s “Anxiety” to play as they express their concerns during the second group party in Baja.
So, is engaged life in Denver as daunting as they thought? Let’s break the initial part of it down, couple by couple.
Nick and Annie
The first thing we see these two do is unpack their Baja fight. Nick says that it felt like Annie kicked him down a mountain. It can’t happen again. She apologizes and says that it’s okay that she’s “all in” while he’s “getting there.” Later, he takes her to see his place in the mountains. Annie is fascinated by how many macho hobbies he has; I am fascinated by how casually the words “size queen” slip out of his mouth. Nick’s plan is for them to keep his place and get a place in the city, where Annie works. Annie also charms Nick’s parents, who gush about how he’s always been their special, sensitive boy.
Madison and Joe
When Joe wonders why Madison doesn’t seem to have more reservations about this experiment, she starts questioning why he wants her to be worried and whether he’s excited about the relationship. “Sorry, I’m not a negative bitch,” she says. They talk over each other until he issues his own salty apology: “I’m sorry, I guess I’ll fucking keep everything I have inside.” Madison ends up taking off her wedding ring, but they make up the next day and once again pretend that saying “this won’t happen again” is the same as actually doing any work to ensure that. Still, Madison really hits it off with Joe’s family. Joe says in a confessional that the night made him feel closer to her and reminded him of everything that made him fall in love with her in the pods. It’s just too bad his family can’t be around all the time to keep him feeling that way.
Sparkle Megan and Jordan
Megan wants to be the mom that stepped up, but she also doesn’t want to step on any toes. (Jordan explains that the only sense in which he wants Luca to be spoiled rich is in quality time and shared experiences.) It’s initially unclear how soon she can meet Luca or his mom, which is understandably stressful given the limited amount of time she has to decide whether to marry into their lives.
In the meantime, Jordan meets Megan’s mom and sister, who take it as a sign that Luca has type 1 diabetes. Her sister even dreamed that their late father told her, “His son is like me. That’s the only way I could get her to know.” It’s sweet, but perhaps falls into the classic LIB trap of people mistaking commonalities and coincidences for destiny. (To be fair, the LIB couple who were gagged that they both love Christmas are still married, so sometimes it works out.) Megan tells her family that she’s realized that Jordan can’t always read her mind when she needs support. Even though they’re clearly working on some things, her family is happy to give their blessing. Megan’s mom and dad fell in love at first sight, so they’re not too weirded out.
Megan starts shopping for a house with a $2 million budget, casually suggesting that they go in on a loan for $500,000. It’s hard for a blue-collar guy like Jordan to let someone else be the provider. He doesn’t want to feel like a freeloader or that she’s compromising on the life that she wants. Finding a house they both love that works for both of their wallets seems like a tall order. But hey, if she loves him despite that chicken smoothie mustache, maybe they can make it through anything?
Ali and Anton
This was the only couple we didn’t see argue in Baja. At one point during that trip, Anton said that when he drinks wine, he gets “a little clumsy.” I wondered why the camera lingered for so long on his spilled drink, and the reason finally becomes clear now: It was foreshadowing. Apparently, the main issue in this relationship is not going to be Botox budgets or eyes-open kissing. It’s partying. While Ali doesn’t seem to question her connection with Anton, she does grow increasingly concerned about his connection with alcohol and nightlife.
She’s not happy to hear from the girlfriend of one of Anton’s friends that Anton loved going to strip clubs and partying when he was single just a few months ago. She’s not thrilled that he drinks when he gets off the night shift. As someone who dislikes the party scene in Denver so much that she wants to move to Florida (is there not a party scene there?), Ali now doubts whether Anton actually wants to settle down and get Mr. and Mrs. sweaters. Frustratingly, we never see them discuss her concerns directly. The closest we get to a confrontation is her breathing out a frustrated “Yeah” when he describes pizza and champagne as “our things.”
Kalybriah and Edmond
It’s interesting to meet Edmond’s mom after learning in the pods that he grew up constantly being taken out of her care. I wonder how her daughter-in-laws will feel to hear her complain that they rat her out to their husbands. But in part because Kalybriah won’t run crying to her husband, she decides that she likes her. She is excited for them all to go to Ghana and is convinced that a baby is on the way. Aside from a short clip of Kalybriah trying and failing to roller skate in their apartment, this couple’s edit this week is relatively uneventful … up until the mini reunion, of course.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
Everyone from the pods shows up in their cowboy/cowgirl best to mingle and get a little messy. (Well, almost everyone — Kacie knew better than to come. The guys are outraged on Patrick’s behalf to hear that she wouldn’t take a phone call from him, asked him to tell everyone they broke up a day after getting back, and stopped responding after he asked for the ring back.)
We once again see Jordan and Joe getting a little crude and obnoxious when they’re drunk. Joe leads a weird and unnecessary conversation about whether Nick or Brenden would be a better sexual match for Annie. That being said, I do have Joe to thank for my favorite moment of the week, which is when he stumbles over his words trying not to hate on Nick. The only compliment he can muster is that Nick was wearing a great hat — very Aretha Franklin of him.
Several exes have conversations of varying length and friendliness. Brenden tries to pretend that he’s not hurt, and his nonchalance convinces Annie that she was right not to choose him. Meanwhile, we watch Kait get the ick from Nick in real time, apparently deciding that she doesn’t care enough to need him to admit what really happened in the pods. Megan firmly shuts down the possibility of rekindling a relationship with Mike, and Anna does the same with Patrick, who insists he would’ve married her if she hadn’t left. He doesn’t seem to understand why Anna might feel like that cheapens his feelings toward both her and Kacie. Maybe Netflix should’ve used flashbacks during these conversations — ultimately, it’s been so long since the pod drama played out that we feel a bit too removed from the tension.
By far the most heated moments are between Edmond and Kalybriah. Their night started off so well — she took a fancam and shouted, “That’s my man!” as he rode the mechanical bull — but a throwaway comment from Annie has Edmond sighing that it must be nice to be a man who hears that he’s perfect. When pressed, he says he never hears positive things from Kalybriah. He doesn’t want to continue the conversation, but Kalybriah feels like he’s the one who brought it into the space. She tells him to answer her questions instead of saying he loves her or acting like a little kid. Eventually, Kalybriah just wants to be left alone. Unfortunately for her, Edmond’s not in one of his climb-into-a-cabinet moods. She ultimately seeks solace in the bathroom. Moments later, the preview for next week shows these two holding hands and smiling. This show makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.
Extra Engaged
Who’s getting married? Here are the results of my weekly poll of my colleagues here at New York/Vulture. An even number of people responded this time, so we have some nice whole percentages:
🥇Ali and Anton (60%)
🥇Sparkle Megan and Jordan (60%)
🥉Edmond and Kalybriah (50%)
😬Annie and Nick (25%)
😭Madison and Joe (0%)
And to think, Annie and Nick were in first place last week…
Jordan and Sparkle Meg tied as our favorites this week. We did not reach a consensus on the villain of the week, but every contender who was submitted was a man, so I’m gonna say that the men of this cast are collectively taking it. Story of every season, tbh.
IRL: I spoke with Anna recently about why she left the pods and got a lot more context about her parents in the process. (One day, I hope to be as extremely offline as them are.) My colleague Nick also did a great interview with Patrick!
A Couple of Last Thoughts
Kalybriah, Ali, Anton’s friend’s girlfriend … what if they genuinely just wanted to pee? I hope cast members are allowed to turn off their mics when they’re using the bathroom.
Do you think producers decided to have the cameras rolling when people got their phones back, just in case there was another Dave–Lauren situation like last season, where the drama started as soon as people got their phones back? Either way, I enjoyed the footage we got of the cast calling their loved ones at the airport.
