Who can believe we have made it to the season’s last charter? For all the ways Below Deck seems to be changing — by prioritizing interpersonal drama over professional issues; by casting certain individuals with no yachting experience and keeping them onboard despite their inability to perform the job — some things remain the same. The crew always gets seniority on the last charter. The tip, of course, matters, but the rules loosen up. The guests want the deck crew to be shirtless for the whole charter? Sure, why not! Damo wants to rekindle his 12-hour-long affair with Solène for no discernible reason, despite the fact that he was up to here with her lack of professionalism just 24 hours before? Who cares!
Besides, the incoming charter is bringing a party vibe. Thank God we’re getting a group of middle-aged Botoxed women looking to have a good time. Their only flaw is that they have about 700 dietary restrictions between them and are requesting an eight-course dinner themed “fire and ice.” On top of that, they’ll get a beach excursion to a pocketed area named Happy Bay and fireworks organized by Fraser for their last night. Anthony is immediately sweating.
The guests will arrive the next morning, so the crew goes out for a chill drinks-and-dinner. They have espresso martinis, the least advisable cocktail to drink on a school night. But again: YOLO. Bárbara and Jess suck face in the bathroom. When they’re back, Bárbara suggests they play Fuck, Marry, Kill, which everyone takes lightly — Jess even jokes that she’d marry Solène “for the plot” and kill Bárbara — except for Solène, who immediately kills Jess. Earlier that day, speaking with Hugo in the crew mess, Jess acknowledged that her reaction to Solène’s questioning of Kerry about the Solène embargo was outsize. She aired her personal frustrations with a colleague in front of her supervisor, and in Jess-speak, “that’s not okay.” So she takes Solène aside to apologize. Solène accepts the apology but says it changes nothing; Jess might as well be dead.
The fact that everyone is constantly apologizing to Solène doesn’t help her overinflated ego. I don’t think Jess did anything that wrong; she just told Solène the truth. Okay, she didn’t have to yell, but it’s not like she insulted her mother. In any case, Jess’s mind is now taken with more important things, such as what will happen to her and Bárbara once the season is over. It sounds like Bárbara is hopping on another boat after the St. David while Jess is planning to take some time off. They agree to meet up when they both have a break. Later in the episode, Jess calls a friend for advice on what to do. Bárbara is based in New York, and Jess wants to travel in the U.S. anyway. Her friend encourages her to go for it, and she hopes Bárbara will want to spend time together. Ever the cautious lover, Bárbara tells Damo that she’s not holding her breath: que será, será.
Not that Damo is the best person to speak on matters of the heart. After dinner, he flirts with Rainbeau a little bit, but it’s platonic. Really, he tells us, he has his eyes on Solène. Embodying the senior spirit, he says that they only have three days left, so he might as well go for it. Damo does tell a slightly disturbing story about his Brazilian ex-girlfriend, who was in her 20s when he was only 16 (these people are making us look bad). Still, no reason to do this to Kyle, who is just only recovering from his self-destructive spiral and who has no idea that his friend is plotting to steal his girl again. All throughout the episode, Kyle and Solène steal kisses in boat corners like they used to. Hugo even snaps a shot of them making out on their break.
Except for the fact that, according to Rainbeau, Solène is “on her shit” and actually doing her job for once, much of this week’s episode feels like a throwback to the St. David of, say, five episodes ago. Solène’s good attitude might have something to do with her being back at the center of male attention. She’s her bashful, I don’t know what I want self again — she wishes she could take Kyle’s body and stuff it with Damo’s “inside.” She appreciates that Damo has always “put his foot on my shoes to understand the whole situation.” I remember him telling her point-blank that she is so disastrous at her job that the whole boat has been instructed not to address a word to her, but okay. Later in the charter, she calls a friend to talk about her romantic entanglements, and the “oh, putain” with which her friend replies makes me think it’s not just on yachts that she gets messy. Despite flirting with Damo the whole episode, she ultimately asks Kyle to sleep in her bunk.
But it’s not just Solène’s renewed love triangle that feels vintage; Anthony is freaking out. First, Captain Kerry will join the guests for the eight-course menu, which always makes him fidgety. Second, there is an eight-course menu in the first place. Before the guests have even come onboard, Fraser checks with Anthony that he will have enough time to get dinner together between 2 p.m., when they’ll be back from the Happy Bay excursion, and 7 p.m., the ideal time to start eating before the fireworks. Anthony just sort of nods. He looks scared.
Co-primaries Deb and Erin arrive with their girls, and they seem so fun. “I’m hoping Stillie won’t get fired halfway through the charter,” Hugo laughs in a confessional. I found it annoying that everyone kept suggesting that inappropriate things would happen between Kyle and a charter guest just because of what happened with Helen. There was an insidiousness to Helen that is completely absent from this retired-sorority vibe. These women are forthcoming, flirty, and wine drunk. They won’t “go further,” but they will “French kiss basically anybody,” especially the captain, if they can. They pick out a boyfriend each from the crew, and later, the boys pick out their favorites from the guest sheet, too. The women hold fast to the crew on the Jet Skis and request that they drive the tender shirtless. They are harmless. Damo is smart enough to get the captain’s approval before getting semi-naked with the guests. Kerry goes one further: Later, as they embark on their beach excursion, he instructs the crew to just keep their shirts off as he knows it’ll make the guests happy. It’s an obviously different, much lighter situation than the darkness that enveloped the boat in the wake of Helen’s charter.
For all of their high spirits, the guests’ multiple dietary restrictions are a problem for Anthony. He asks to go over them together when they arrive so they know they are taken care of. This is what we’re dealing with: “I don’t have a gluten allergy, just a sensitivity, so I’m fine.” Okay? So why did you mark it on your preference sheet? Just to make things difficult? Do I sound like Anthony? Also annoying is the fact that Erin wants to separate fire and ice night into two groups: The four sisters onboard will be ice, and the friends will be fire. Does that mean they ultimately don’t get along?
For the first dinner, though, the theme is “Malibu Dream Yacht,” not to say Nautical Barbie. Anthony wants to try to make the food pink, but Fraser — knowing that Anthony doesn’t need another thing to worry about — tells him to just focus on flavor; he’ll take care of the pinkness. And take care of it he does. The women shriek when they see the decorations. Having wished he could just serve them dino nuggets to get around their restrictions, Anthony does the next best thing and gives them breaded chicken paillard with mashed potatoes. Better yet, they have lava cake for dessert. As the guests are wrapping up, talking about their childhood ambitions — “I wanted to be the first female president” — Fraser radios: “Deck crew, deck crew, the guests want a sexy fashion show.” Solène, thinking she’s Lucille Ball, trips over herself when she walks in.
Hugo gets so carried away with the fashion show that he forgets he’s on watch. Shortly before midnight, Kerry goes to the wheelhouse and sees it’s been over two hours since there’s been an entry in the logbook. This is very bad, especially since earlier that same day, Kerry had given Hugo a huge compliment and responsibility by offering him the chance to anchor the boat during the charter. It was a big deal for Hugo, who was surprised and flattered by the captain’s trust. From reading the phenomenal new book A Marriage at Sea: A True Story of Love, Obsession, and Shipwreck, I have learned that keeping watch is the single most important duty a captain has onboard. If you can’t keep track of the logbook, you’re worse off than Damo, who doesn’t even know how to turn the boat on.
Kerry calls Hugo to the bridge first thing in the morning. The bosun owns up to his mistake and seems as disappointed in himself as Kerry, who loves to go the alarmist route: What if they drifted into another yacht! (There is not a single other boat on sight.) Kerry likes that Hugo makes no excuses and is quick to take accountability, so he proceeds with his plan of letting him drop the next anchor. Hugo is nervous, but he does a good job. Jess congratulates him over the radio and gives him a high-five afterward. It’s nice.
It’s eight-course-dinner-and-fireworks day, and Anthony is having a meltdown. The beach excursion goes fine, and he gets back to the galley at the agreed-upon time. Still, he barks to Rainbeau that it’ll be impossible to get all eight courses on the table by 7 p.m.; they will either have to plan for later or reduce the number of courses. “Anthony against time, story of my life,” he laments. I get that it’s a lot, but he has had plenty of time to prepare for this, and if he didn’t think five hours were going to be enough, he should’ve said so to Fraser long before! Dealing with this is above Rainbeau’s pay grade, so she texts Fraser to come and speak to Anthony.
One and a half hours before dinner, Fraser still hasn’t come by. When he finally peeks into the galley, Anthony is frustrated that everyone is “fucking around” (cut to the deck crew jumping on the inflatable platform) when they are supposed to be preparing for “the best night ever.” Fraser knows how to deal with the chef: The key is not to take it personally and just encourage Anthony to focus. By the time it’s half an hour before dinner, Anthony is calling the whole thing sabotage. This anxiety about dinner provides much of this week’s tension, but we won’t see how it turned out until next week. We know what that means: It probably went absolutely fine.
