You guys, we did it. We have made it to the end of one of the strangest seasons of a reality-television program I’ve ever seen. I’ve been thinking a lot about why Beyond the Villa is such a bizarre media object. Sure, much of the drama and plot feels contrived, but that’s true for many reality-show first seasons. I hypothesize that the container is not built to handle the juice. By that, I mean that the most compelling part of Beyond the Villa is the stuff about the toxicity of reality television and its adjacent internet world. The format, tone, and structure of a reality-TV show do not leave space for genuine critiques of its evils.
If I were in charge of this project, I’d do one of two things. The first option is a true docuseries like Pop Star Academy: Katseye or America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, but this would work only if the NDAs left enough space for actual honesty. So, unlikely. This leaves option two: a gritty scripted series like UnREAL or The Idol. Kordell could even star! Imagine how much harder some of these on-the-nose needle drops would hit if we got real drama about anything that isn’t a heartbreaking medical event happening to a person who did not sign up to be on the show!
ANYWAY. Back on the reality-show-about-a-reality-show, we’re still in Miami. JaNa and Kenny bicker about whether their AC should be set to “Antarctica” or “Minnesota.” Liv loves Miami. Serena gets ready in the Oceanfront Penthouse. Everyone else joins her there for breakfast, where Aaron points out that you can tell who won the show, and, indeed, sir, that is correct. It’s obvious in the fact that she and Kordell won the original show by popular vote — but also in BTV by having to be onscreen as little as possible while still cashing their checks.
Kenny steps away to take a phone call. It’s his dad calling to inform him that his brother, Gabe, who has epilepsy, had a series of seizures and is now intubated in the ICU. JaNa comforts him, Kaylor joins, and they all hold hands to pray for Meemaw’s eternal soul and for Gabe to get off the breathing tube and out of the hospital. JaNa says she’s grateful that Kenny is being vulnerable in this moment because it shows he trusts her. I detest watching this beautiful, caring woman writing her elaborate thank-you notes for receiving absolute scraps! Honey, this is not it!
For their final Miami activity, everyone goes to the beach to sit under umbrellas, get a tutorial from Aaron about how to lighten your hair with lemon juice, and watch Kaylor and Aaron go at it yet again. I am so over this spat, y’all. I can’t decide if I’m more frustrated by Kaylor and Aaron’s beef or Kaylor and Liv’s beef. Don’t get me wrong — as a student of Bravo, I understand intimately that interpersonal conflicts often unfold in a spiral. Reality-TV drama requires rehashing the same nonsense over and over. But they usually add something new each go-around — new proof, new allies, new points of comedy. With Kaylor’s beefs, we get none of that.
Instead, it’s another round of he said, she said about padel tennis and Saddle Ranch, and this time production doesn’t even try to convince us the argument happened on-camera in a linear fashion. Every time Aaron speaks, we see Kaylor’s face listening and vice versa. Sometimes they’re both just yelling while we’re treated to footage of Liv sitting on a lounge chair. At one point, Aaron is flinging around a plastic bat, and Kaylor says, “He’s a child … I hope you got that on-camera.” Even the fourth-wall breaks no longer feel novel.
Kaylor and Aaron then go to their respective support corners (Kendall and Connor) to complain about the other person. Aaron doesn’t want to be in a situation where he constantly has to see his ex with a new guy, and the Kaylor he used to know was only worried about fun, not chasing followers and likes. Kaylor says she should have kept her distance this entire summer. I’m dying to know what happened on this show in the alternative universe where Kaylor minded her business. Was it just 40 minutes of Leah on her horses each week? The slow-motion decay of JaNa’s sparkle at the hands of Kenny the demon? Serena being forced to have her daily anxiety attacks filmed? Much to think about.
Back in L.A., Aaron makes fruit salad for his mom and abuela (Aba), who are visiting from across the pond. He walks them through the latest in his Kaylor saga, then informs everyone he invited her to his upcoming birthday party. Kaylor responds, “Thank you for the invite, Aaron,” and yeah, there’s no way she and Mr. Torin are attending this function. Aba says she was a bit upset with Kaylor after the reunion, but she promises she won’t be nasty to her. At this point, I will gleefully take drama infusions from Aba. Stir that pot, girlie!
Everyone except Connor (oops!) gets some form of final send-off. Liv does a photo shoot for an Australian publication that focuses on lifestyle, beauty, and travel, which is “everything that she does.” She is still trying to decide “what avenue she wants to do” between hosting and fashion. Oh, yes, the only two jobs: hosting or fashion.
Kendall goes on a hike with his dad and sister (who is more compelling than every man on this show combined). He yaps about meeting up with Nicole, then speaks out of every side of his mouth at once about how these situations put him in a place where he’s stuck but also that he’s in a better spot to do something outside his comfort zone. I cannot wait to never think of this man again.
PPG goes out to Louie’s in Calabasas to order martinis and make space for JaNa to try her first-ever scallop. JaNa gives a press conference about how it’s been an amazing summer, even though she’s going back to lower-cost-of-living Vegas and Kenny is headed to Dallas. She thinks Kenny should extend his lease to give him more time to figure things out. Kenny just sits there with not a single light on inside that noggin of his. Miguel’s visa is about to expire, but he and Leah seem otherwise solid. Kordell is about to go out for more filming, and Serena is beginning the next step in finding a new therapist, but it’s hard since she’s not in her hometown. It’s a real portrait of how American red tape makes life impossibly frustrating, even for a fledgling social-media celebrity with brand deals up the wazoo.
Get ready for the real shock of the season. Kaylor does not attend Aaron’s birthday party. The only cast members who attend are Kenny, Kendall, and Connor, who says that “dudes don’t really know when their guy friends’ birthdays are,” so he’s glad someone (production) gave him a heads-up. This is devastating to me! The male-loneliness crisis in action! Are dudes like Connor aware they can ask their friends questions? Just try sometimes, guys!
Alas, Aaron makes some solid points about how Kenny doesn’t seem as happy as he comes across (which is saying a lot, because he comes across as miserable). He then points out that there’s a Catch-22 in which he and Kaylor would have never met without the show, but the show ruined it for them as well. He says he probably won’t ever see her now — ever again. Okay, Mr. Drama! If you say so! (But also, happy for you if that means no one signed on for season two.)
Since Kaylor didn’t go to Aaron’s birthday, she has a romantic picnic with Torin. I know I previously shat on his stupid hats, and I’d like to come forward and say I was wrong. The blown-out bouffant is so much worse. Cover it up! The hat at least makes him look 15 instead of 12. Kaylor announces that she wants new beginnings and will be moving to New York, something she has wanted to do since she was a little girl but could never afford. When it comes to the future, she’s “just figuring it out” because she is 23 years old. Our evergreen reminder that Kaylor is 23 years old.
Finally, we hop on over to JaNa and Kenny’s building, where they’re packing up their moneymaker (the tripod) and getting ready to head in separate directions. This is where I leaned forward, prepared to close-read this scene as if it were The Crucible and I had a literature exam tomorrow. But we get absolutely nothing. JaNa complains about L.A. gas prices, and Kenny mopes a little as he touches JaNa’s ass. And then … hard cut … eight weeks later. I rubbed my hands together like, YES, TELL US. SHOW US.
And still nothing. It’s just a collage of headlines about JaNa and Kenny’s “shocking breakup.” They show JaNa’s Instagram announcement with a bunch of it blurred out. Then they show Kenny’s announcement, also censored. And then! We get a dramatic reenactment of Kenny changing his Instagram profile to remove the @janacraig_ tag. It disappears in a sad little blip. That’s it! That’s really it.
We go back to the apartment, and JaNa’s like, “C’mon, we don’t want to miss our flight — my flight.” I love subtext, but this is just emptiness. How were the cameras not up during this “shocking breakup”? Bravo would never! I guess, on the other hand, I’m happy for JaNa that it wasn’t filmed, and I hope she finds someone who matches her energy!
On the Westside, Aaron also says his final good-byes. He predicts that with Kaylor, “one day, once the dust is settled, I’ll get one text message, followed by a FaceTime, and that’ll be it for the rest of our lives.” When he said this, his eyes earnest and watery, I howled. What fan fiction! Forget the nature videos — enroll this boy in the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art! Speaking of drama, during our final moments every cast member goes around the circle and shares what happiness means to them.
For Leah, it’s being with her loved ones and animals. To Kenny, it’s coming to terms with who he is as a person. JaNa and Serena just want to see their loved ones happy. For Liv, happiness is having a backbone. Kaylor has no idea because she’s not that happy but is working on it. Cue a supercut of her and Aaron swooning on the roof as Aaron reports that as long as he’s staying on his path and true to himself, he’ll be just fine. And that’s it. That’s the show. What an entry into the annals of history.
